Tag Archives: Advice

😷 Covid-19 Info & Resources Update August 27, 2020 (USA)


Info and Links for Friends and Loved Ones
New tests and testing info! More relatively current updates about Life in the Age of Covid arranged roughly by topic with newest articles first. Explainers about transmission in the air. Should I wear a mask? Is that really still a question!? The big question: Will the Pandemic ever end in the USA? Answer: If the current administration remains in power, the pandemic never EVEN happened. With actual leadership, Covid-19 should be under control within 18 months. PLEASE REGISTER TO VOTE, VOTE EARLY, AND DON’T COUNT ON THE USPS TO DELIVER YOUR BALLOT.

Get Tested for COVID-19 at Home! Mail-in kit from Pixel by LabCorp (Not an Antibody test. A test to see if you are currently infected. You will have to come up with a reason for being tested if you don’t have symptoms.)
8/25/2020 — Read on –  www.pixel.labcorp.com/covid-19 Read on

Coronavirus Antibody Tests? It would be great if they worked and told us what we needed to know. But so far, they don’t.
8/21/2020 — Read on NYT – www.nytimes.com/2020/08/21/health/coronavirus-antibody-tests.html

Should I get tested for COVID-19 antibodies? Can antibody testing tell whether someone has been exposed to the virus that causes COVID-19?.
8/x/2020 — Read on NJ Health Department – covid19.nj.gov/faqs/nj-information/testing-information/should-i-get-tested-for-covid-19-antibodies-can-antibody-testing-tell-whether-someone-has-been-exposed-to-the-virus-that-causes-covid-19

Europe lockdown: New coronavirus rules country by country (Americans stay home until you can manage your Covid better.)
8/20/2020 — Read on BBC NEWS – www.bbc.co.uk/news/explainers-53640249

What Happens to Viral Particles on the Subway – Very cool Graphic Explainer!
8/10/2020 Read on NYT – www.nytimes.com/interactive/2020/08/10/nyregion/nyc-subway-coronavirus.html

Covid 19 is airborne [Don’t you want to just say “Duh!!”. But it was only the beginning of July that scientists could prove it and the CDC began to accept it.—Christo]
7/4/2020 Read on NYT – www.nytimes.com/2020/07/04/health/239-experts-with-1-big-claim-the-coronavirus-is-airborne.html

Could my symptoms be Covid 19? (Yes, whatever they are. A great Graphic Explainer.)
8/5/2020  Read on NYT – www.nytimes.com/interactive/2020/08/05/well/covid-19-symptoms.html

Face masks: How to wear a covering and stop coronavirus (Video)
8/25/20 Read on BBC – www.bbc.co.uk/news/explainers-53517968

Coronavirus: which way round to wear a face mask? (Video)
07/15/20 Read on BBC – www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-52606128

Coronavirus: ‘The masks you throw away could end up killing a whale’[So RECYCLE, or put them in the trash for heaven’s sake!!—Christo]
7/7/2020 Read on  BBC – www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-53287940

Nurses Who Battled Virus in New York Confront Friends Back Home Who Say It’s a Hoax (I include this because to me it is unfathomable that people could believe this is a hoax. You probably have neighbors, as I do, who still treat it like it is a hoax. RANT FOLLOWS: And that the wing nuts could think this is a Leftist Conspiracy? When the damage, the death, is being wrought on the most vulnerable and disadvantaged populations—seriously, the “Democrat”, liberals, poor, seniors, and people of color— those populations. While the government is compensating giant corporations and banks and billionaires? Who is benefitting from this disease? People on Social Security? Sounds more like a conspiracy of the Republicants to wipe out their troublesome opponents. But, NO, I don’t believe that. “Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.”—Christo)
07/07/20 Read in NYT: www.nytimes.com/2020/07/07/us/coronavirus-nurses.html

Stay Healthy #WearAMask and #VOTE!!

— Christo

Life in the Age of Covid – Friday August 14, 2020

Friday August 14, 2020 11:38 am

“This rotten time wouldn’t seem so bad to me now. If I didn’t die, I should be satisfied, I survived. It’s good enough for now.”— “Sky Blue Sky”, Wilco

Winding down the summer of 2020. It’s 86 degrees in Western Central New Jersey with 98% humidity—that’s pretty swampy weather, even though it’s cooler by 5 degrees than most days for the last few weeks. I’m listening to the Goldfinches chirp as they fly overhead in between feeder stops. A Kingfisher chatters his way north up the river, while the nattering Nuthatches explore the walnut tree from every angle—upside down, sideways—jerkily walking the bark in three dimensions without hesitation or fear of gravity. They do sidestep the big yellow wasps, who have a nest in a hole in the tree. While one guards the entrance, wings buzzing incessantly, the others come and go quickly with a sense of purpose.

Too late to go for a cool morning ride.

We’re six plus months into this Covid thing. I haven’t been to GIANT market, where I now appreciate leisurely strolling, relaxed, picking through the corn chips, looking for the healthy ones, and trying to find the sliced wild salmon with no sugar or flavorings. In all this time I haven’t returned to the gym where I taught T’ai Chi—not since that last Saturday morning, right before lockdown, when only four students showed. I haven’t met my friend Pendar for dinner at Bell’s Tavern, a habit we’ve maintained for over thirty years. No tuna sub from Valpariso’s for lunch on work days. I have bought a few dozen bagels from Hee San at Bagel Delite, had a few TLT Sandwiches from Jess’s Juice Bar, sushi from Ota Ya, and the grilled chicken pesto panini at Liv and Charlies, all from curb-side pickup of course, no sit-down restaurant meals anywhere. Not happening. I miss the social ease of dropping into Rojo’s coffee shop and reading at a table, or treating myself to cookie-dough ice cream at Oh Wow Cow.

I wear a mask whenever I go out, and ALL DAY at work – and a bandana when I ride my bike. I used to say I did it to set a good example, which is still true, but I really do it because it’s the right thing to do. I don’t need to hear or make any arguments about it. My mom was an O.R. nurse. I know intuitively this is the right thing. I get pissed at people who don’t wear masks – including my neighbors with their small children. But I don’t say anything. When someone sneers some comment at me for wearing a mask, I resist the urge to shove them into the canal, where they belong. And to be fair, I have recently witnessed my neighbors and children rolling the downtown sidewalks, all masked. Not consistently, but at least around town.

This is serious business, and most of us will get through it – eventually – and some won’t.

Do what you need to stay sane and healthy, be excellent to one another, and for God’s sake, vote and vote early!

— Christo

😷 Covid-19 Info & Resources Update June 6, 2020 (USA)

keep-calm-wash-your-hands_8.5x11Info and Links for Friends and Loved Ones
More relatively current updates about Life in the Age of Covid: As businesses open, valiant warriors peacefully confront racism and Police Violence, and the unwanted visitor in the People’s House relishes any #Diversion as he refuses to #WearAMask.


Should Runners wear a mask?
6/5/2020 — Read on www.nytimes.com/2020/05/30/health/running-exercising-masks-coronavirus.html

What’s the risk of catching Coronavirus from a surface?
5/28/2020 — Read on www.nytimes.com/2020/05/28/well/live/whats-the-risk-of-catching-coronavirus-from-a-surface.html

Where and how do I get tested for COVID-19 in New Jersey? Who should get testing? FAQ.
5/27/2020— Read on covid19.nj.gov/faqs/nj-information/general-public/where-and-how-do-i-get-tested-for-covid-19-in-new-jersey-who-should-get-testing

The Risks – Know Them – Avoid Them — Successful Infection = Exposure to Virus x Time  It seems many people are breathing some relief, and I’m not sure why. An epidemic curve has a relatively predictable upslope and once the peak is reached, the back slope can also be predicted. We have robust data from the outbreaks in China and Italy, that shows the backside of the mortality curve declines slowly, with
5/20/20— Read on www.erinbromage.com/post/the-risks-know-them-avoid-them

Amid the Coronavirus Crisis, a Regimen for Reëntry | The New Yorker A four-part strategy of hygiene, distancing, screening, and masks will not return us to normal life. But, when signs indicate that the virus is under control, it could get people out of their homes and moving again.
5/17/20— Read on www.newyorker.com/science/medical-dispatch/amid-the-coronavirus-crisis-a-regimen-for-reentry

QR codes and dramatic vistas: travel tips during the pandemic Marketplace’s China correspondent reports on bureaucracy and beauty far from Shanghai.
5/15/2020— Read on www.marketplace.org/2020/05/15/qr-codes-dramatic-vistas-tips-for-traveling-during-the-pandemic/

U.S. officials are preparing to begin checking passengers’ temperatures at roughly a dozen airports as soon as next week, as the coronavirus pandemic has heightened anxieties about travel.
5/15/20— (Paywall) Read on www.wsj.com/articles/tsa-preparing-to-check-passenger-temperatures-11589579570

How to keep your glasses or sunglasses from fogging up while wearing a face mask – nj.com
4/2020 — Read on www.nj.com/coronavirus/2020/04/how-to-keep-your-glasses-or-sunglasses-from-fogging-up-while-wearing-a-face-mask.html

Supermarkets, grocery stores are shifting hours, adding hours for seniors and have purchase limits. What you need to know. (April 18, 2020) – nj.com
4/18/2020 — Read on www.nj.com/business/2020/04/supermarkets-grocery-stores-are-shifting-hours-adding-hours-for-seniors-and-have-purchase-limits-what-you-need-to-know-april-18-2020.html


Stay Healthy and #WearAMask

— Christo

COVID-19 Info and Resources (USA)

keep-calm-wash-your-hands_8.5x11Info and Links for Friends and Loved Ones

It’s been almost a year since I’ve posted anything. I noticed I keep emailing this info to people and update it every couple of days when someone sends me something of value. Silly me! It’s easier to put it on the blob. So here it is…

March 22, 2020, A doctor in New York recommended this video by another doctor. A bit long, PLEASE watch the whole thing, important and hopeful information throughout. “Dr. David Price of Weill Cornell Medical Center in New York City shares information in a Mar. 22 Zoom call with family and friends on empowering and protecting families during the COVID-19 pandemic.
March 17, 2020 Web Blog entry, by Dr. Hyman. Mark Hyman, MD is the Founder and Director of The UltraWellness Center, the Head of Strategy and Innovation of Cleveland Clinic’s Center for Functional Medicine, and a 13-time New York Times Bestselling author.
March 24, 2020, The Guardian, web page article.
March 26, 2020 New York Times Web Page, broken into 4 sections:
  1. Prevent Infection
  2. Prepare
  3. Stay Home
  4. Recover from Illness

April 19, 2020, Web Page is dynamic, I can’t find the “permalink” so you might have to follow it from this page. If you don’t want all the latest news, scroll down, to the bottom of the page to “Answers to Your Frequently Asked Questions”, and click “Read More” and pick a topic.

April 1, 2020 Dr. Jeffrey VanWingen

April 18, 2020 Supermarkets, grocery stores are shifting hours, adding hours for seniors and have purchase limits. What you need to know. – nj.com
— Read on www.nj.com/business/2020/04/supermarkets-grocery-stores-are-shifting-hours-adding-hours-for-seniors-and-have-purchase-limits-what-you-need-to-know-april-18-2020.html

No-Sew Face Mask with Handkerchief and Hair Tie-2
April 1, 2020 Article, No sewing required!!

How to keep your glasses or sunglasses from fogging up while wearing a face mask – nj.com
— Read on www.nj.com/coronavirus/2020/04/how-to-keep-your-glasses-or-sunglasses-from-fogging-up-while-wearing-a-face-mask.html

April 1, 2020 A computer model. Only look at this if you can handle the news. Big numbers. Fascinating and depressing information.

After that serious model, everyone should watch this!!

BTW: No. COVID-19 is not caused by 5G. Seriously? C’mon people, now, smile on your brother, everybody get together (with social distancing), right now.


Keep Calm and Wash Your Hands, and Wear a Mask! — Christo


#5G RU TV Drama—is the controversy really about Russian Trolls??

back1Saturday May 25, 2019 — The New York Times published a front page article, Your 5G Phone Won’t Hurt You. But Russia Wants You to Think Otherwise.” It reads like a marketing piece for Verizon. Maybe because NYT has a 5G Joint Venture with Verizon?? Then, the Wall Street Journal, responded, with “Russia and the 5G Cancer Scare—America’s cell-phone industry couldn’t be happier about the Kremlin’s meddling.” And you can’t read the whole article unless you have a WSJ subscription…but you can read it if you go to the link the WSJ provides in their “CIO Journal” newsletter, where the WSJ article is described as “debunking” the NYT article.

But does the WSJ really “debunk” the NYT? Or just stir up the drama pot? Let’s remember, the WSJ is a Rupert Murdoch paper. That is, it might as well be a Fox News paper. Reading the “debunking” article takes you to a site called “Fierce Wireless“, clearly a marketing mouthpiece for the telecom industry, which seems to end each article with an explanation that there is no definitive proof of the dangers of cellular radiation!!

Do you feel “whipsawed”? Does jumping around from article to article remind you of trying to figure out what happened in the final weeks of the election in 2016? Does all this drama remind you of reality TV? Do you feel like you need to wash your hands? Do you have that uneasy feeling in your stomach like the one you get when you have been spending too much time on Facebook? That queasy feeling that you’re being used, or played, and that something you are doing is wrong? Pay attention to that feeling, and spend less time on the Internet!

Because have you ever had to work this hard? To find out the truth? To get people to see that you are calm, and reasonable, and believe in facts and science? Had to work this hard to get your friends, neighbors, colleagues to understand that you agree with them? That you have common ground? Mutual goals? Our opposition—the trolls, the haters, the deceptive marketers, the monopolists and corporate shills, I lump “them” all together—they would like us to just say, “Screw it! I have no control, the monopolies are gonna ram this through, I don’t know who my representatives represent.” The opposition have managed to make us distrustful and antagonistic even of people who AGREE with us!!

Now take a deep breath. Fortunately, distrust of others, including of our own government, is one of the seeds of our (mostly, still) democratic system!! There are processes and inputs and options. Wahoo. Really. So hang in there and talk to your neighbors. And I mean talk, not text, not email. And go to meetings. You won’t agree about everything. Who does? And you can always back off, regroup, compromise—the opposition wants you to quit—but don’t, don’t give up!

Now, let’s get back to facts and articles…

I like the Environmental Health Trust. They may have a slightly slanted view, but the “slant” is towards facts and health and safety! EHT Founder Devra Davis, PhD. responded to the clearly biased NYT drama-mongering piece with a thorough link-laden article of her own. Now, before you dive down that rabbit hole, READ THIS ONE.

After searching and reading until I am sore in the head (can you tell?), I found one article that I recommend to everyone. This is really for the skeptics. There’s a ton of great material on my 5G page, but just read this one article. After that, if you are so inspired, then off you go. Here it is, and please read ALL the words:

A comprehensive guide to the messy, frustrating science of cellphones and health” from VOX.  https://www.vox.com/2018/7/16/17067214/cellphone-cancer-5g-evidence-studies

I am about to retire from this topic, I hope…
Peace Out — Christo

The Upside of Hedonism

Years ago, my mentor and friend, Dick Stone, told me he thought the purpose of life was “enjoyment”. With the classic-American-ingrained-judgemental fear-and-puritanism of a young man still in his twenties, I nearly gasped, “But isn’t that Hedonism?”

“Yes, of course. Why not?” Dick replied. “Are we on this world to suffer? If so, then isn’t our purpose to learn not to suffer? I prefer to skip the suffering part. I believe we are here to enjoy life. Why shouldn’t we? What is wrong with that?”

I shouldn’t have been too surprised. This was a strange, very intelligent, and very educated man, an epidemiologist, a Director of Medical Research for a very large multi-national corporation, who traveled frequently to Japan—before many Americans did—and stated fearlessly, and with an impish grin, that his hobbies were “sex and baking bread, in that order”.

I’ve remembered his statement well enough for many years, and thought about it from time to time, and never felt I understood, or agreed, until now. Maybe I had to reach a certain age, or needed to lose enough people close to me (including him). Or raise a family? Get divorced? Lose and win at love? Surf? I can’t pinpoint the turning point, but it was some time this year that I looked in the mirror and got it.

It’s not hedonism in the terrified sense of impersonal orgies, selfishly created chaos, and depravity. It’s hedonism in the finest sense: aesthetics. It’s pleasure because “why shouldn’t we enjoy life?” Every aspect of life. Every moment.

And of course, to many people maybe this is just way too obvious. For you, I apologize – go, read something else, no worries. For me it was a revelation, and continues to be. I keep asking myself, what should I be enjoying now? What is good about this?

When I wake up, I try to be sure to enjoy every moment. And make choices so that I can. I wash with soap that I LOVE to smell. I shave only part of my face, because shaving my whole beard hurts. I use a thick, luxurious towel because it feels good. I want to eat a breakfast that I want and that I enjoy, every day, not some bland nutrition that has no love or thought or desire going into its creation. I make time to practice my Yoga and T’ai Chi in the morning because I feel better all day when I do. And I try to enjoy and appreciate every posture, every move, every stretch, every breath. This is just how I start the day.

As with many studies, a practiced hedonism is never complete. There is always some new insight related to this appreciation.

The other day I looked in my closet. How many shirts do I have that I don’t really like? How many that I never wear, but keep because someone gave them to me? Why shouldn’t I only have clothing that I love? What a thought! No compromises, no bargains. Just clothing in which I am always comfortable, I always feel good, feel attractive. Every shirt is a favorite shirt. Why have it if it isn’t? Yipes.

I know, I know. It’s so obvious. I’m thinking now of so many people I know who already live this way. Egad, there are so many of them! Maybe, it’s almost everyone I know. Maybe, it’s almost everyone. Okay, well now I know. Thanks for setting a good example for me, all of you.

Note to self: Join the human race. Enjoy life. Be happy. And, P.S.: Thanks Dick!



To the Guy in the Pinto Wagon

Dude! It was just a merge!

To the guy in the Pinto wagon who followed me twenty miles across New Jersey. Oh sure, when I first realized that you really were angry, and you were honking and shouting at me (with your window up), I thought I should pull off the road and kick your ass. My second reaction? This guy is obviously nuts, and might have a gun or other weapon, or at least, be someone who would get some weird satisfaction from smashing my window with a brick. Yea, that would be fair retribution for pulling ahead of somebody when the two lanes merge.

But most of my male defensive rage disappeared not long after you stopped honking your horn – which I remind you, you must have had going for a mile or two at least, from one backed up stop light to the next, down 206. So how could you work so hard to hang onto your anger? I started to become rational—even compassionate—very quickly. You must have had a pretty bad morning, or a pretty bad life, up to that point, to be so angry with a total stranger who just pulled in front of you at a merge. And then to follow me? And glare at every intersection? You had plenty of opportunity to pull ahead and get where you were going faster, if that was really what was important. But you stayed angry, and kept shouting obscene threats to your closed window, and kept following me. I got to experience a fear. What if this guy is more than a little nuts? What if he’s a Psycho-killer??

Then my survival instinct kicked in. If you were going to follow and attack me, sucker, I was gonna make damn sure you’d pay for your insane craziness. Oh yea. You stay behind me? I’ll pull into a Starbucks parking lot and see how committed you are. I’ll wait until you pull in behind me, then I…do something. Drive away, run you over, call the cops, or the baristas. But you know, once you start thinking about this, letting your imagination run, you can just go to incredible extremes with it. What if this guy gets my license number? Manages to find out where I live? And so on.

At that point I figured it out. Take the iPhone, take good picture. Get a record of the guy’s face, of his car. And I did. And make sure he sees me taking the picture. For extra measure, I might tweet it. Internet to the rescue. Sort of.

Because really, he was in the slow lane. I was in the fast lane. The lanes merged. He pulled forward, I pulled forward. He backed off his accelerator, I didn’t. It was just a merge. Dude! It was just a merge!!

Pictures Please!! Online Dating

Pictures, Please!!
For God’s sake this is the 21st century, and unless we are blind, we want to see what the other person looks like. I don’t think you can even call that shallow any more. It’s realistic. Who doesn’t want to see a potential date? If you can find someone who actually says they don’t care; stay away, because if they’re not lying, they’re crazy. So put up a photo, or don’t bother with this whole online dating thing. Seriously.

Make it a good one. If you’re going to post a fuzzy, low resolution photo, then don’t bother. That’s aggravating. And while you are at it, post more than one. Give me an idea of what you look like now, and very recently. (Tip: Skip the rest of this paragraph if my being blunt is going to offend you. God! I wouldn’t want that!) It drives me nuts to see a sexy lady in the first image on her Profile, and my reaction is, hey, she looks great for forty! And as I go through the pictures, in each one, she gets older, and fatter, and greyer! Look, I was a young Adonis in my twenties:


I was thin! I had muscles! I had hair! But I do not look like that now, and it doesn’t matter to anyone who wants to date me now, what I looked like that many years ago! Get with the program people!! Pictures, good pictures, recent pictures, plenty of pictures.

Picture Pet Peeves. Please don’t post a picture where you’ve cropped out your ex-husband or old boyfriend. These pictures always look just like a photo where someone has cropped out their ex-husband or old boyfriend. Sometimes your ex-husband’s head or arm is still in the picture. Jeez. You can do better than that.

And please!! I am BEGGING here. PLEASE don’t post any pictures of your pets! If I see another picture of a Pekinese with your socks in his mouth, or a woman lying in the grass with her Doberman, or a woman with mussed hair, her face dripping with sweat, standing with pride and a very satisfied look next to her horse, I am going to scream! I don’t have to love your pets, okay? They’re pets! It’s a dog! Save it for YouTube. Please.

This post was extracted from my original post on Online Dating-that one was about Lying, and this is really a different topic…

Sent from my iPad

Waterfalls and Pitfalls in Profiles – more on Online Dating

Waterfalls and Pitfalls in Profiles
Once you start shopping around on a dating site and reading profiles, you start to draw conclusions. Such as: they all sound the same. I don’t shop the male profiles, so I’m going out on a limb here, but I’m pretty confident it’s an equivalent scenario for you gals. Women, they like long walks on a beach, candlelit dinners at a fine restaurant, snuggling by firelight, and a man who is a complete gentleman. Well of course. But no guy is going to get excited about a woman who writes that. Especially when there are so many profiles that say exactly the same thing. So the guy is going to look at the pictures (which I’ve already discussed), or look for profiles that are different.

The next step up—the “my friends tell me I’m interesting” profile. These are all the same too, the adjectives change but the story’s the same. “People tell me I’m interesting, fun, easygoing, lighthearted, and energetic.” Okay. That’s what they tell you, so you are like a million other women, but what do you think you are?

Move up to the ones who tell you. This level has potential. These ladies make no qualms about other people. They tell us who they are. “I’m fun, exciting, love a good meal and interesting conversation. I like to play sports, but hate watching football. Breakfast is my favorite meal, especially with someone I’m just getting to know. (Wink.)” I vote for these ladies. A cliche is a cliche is a cliche. But who can resist a pornographic cliche? Still, we’re not done. We still have to talk about the profiles that go over the top. Way over.

Usually these are women around my age. They’ve been married; they’ve loved and lost; they’ve had kids, they’ve raised families; and they’ve had time to find themselves. Yes, and in profiles, they’ve decided for some reason, they want to talk about all the great risk-taking adventures they’ve had. Cliff-jumping in Aruba, white-water rafting in South America, scuba diving in the shark infested waters of the Australian Great Barrier reef, underground cave tubing in Iran, riding a barrel over Victoria Falls, and of course the old standby, not just sky-diving but for the really risk-taking, BASE jumping, preferably off some enormous cliff in Montana or Idaho in a flying wingsuit, or into a huge open-mouthed cavern in Central America through an enormous cloud of giant fruit bats, like an episode of Nature. I even had one “match” with a photo of herself standing on the wing of a small plane in a flightsuit a-la-Amelia Earhart, with the statement that she really wanted a guy with a pilot’s license, so they could fly off together-because life on earth with gravity-bound mortals is so droll sometimes. I had a -vision of a couple of big sea birds, winging out over the ocean with no land visible on the horizon. Have fun kids.


What’s wrong with this picture? I’m sorry. I don’t find the idea of dating a female Indiana Jones particularly romantic or attractive. What are these women saying? To me it sounds like, “Hey! I’m different. I’m no home body. You’re not gonna tie me down! I’m wild and free! I risk my life and do exciting things and I don’t need a man to do them with!!” Which is great if you’re not a man. The trouble here is that men generally take serious risk-taking adventures either alone, or with other men. There’s the whole manly tradition of the man bringing home the mastodon meat after a long dangerous hunt, of returning from war or some other fantastic journey (think Odysseus). We want to go do stuff, and then come home to the hearth and hero’s welcome. I know Penelope had a helluva time without that lunkhead around for twenty years, but I’m just sayin’. How many men want to play a good game of tackle football with their wives? How many guys think, “Shit, I’m gonna see if I can climb Everest without killing myself or getting any limbs amputated from frostbite, and I’d like you to come along and risk your youth and beauty with me!!”

This idea that your potential spouse/mate/partner is going to not only find your adventures attractive, but is going to want to share them with you, ignores or overlooks the truth that much of life, and many of its great moments, are solo excursions. As a man, I know it is true for me. I propose naively that this is also true for women. I LOVE to share new things with someone I care about, but I also know there is an unfathomable and exquisite pleasure from risk-taking adventures that derives from the unique sense of accomplishment that is NEVER a team accomplishment. Whether it’s rappelling down a cliff face you have climbed, racing a dirt bike up the sandy loam of a desert arroyo, or jumping into a glacier fed pool from the top of a waterfall, this is something you do alone, because even if you are with friends or lovers, even if you are holding hands when you jump, when you get to the bottom you don’t say, “Hey, I could never have done it without you!!” It is YOU that does it. And that’s at the heart of these adventures, probably because they remind us of the ultimate and irrevocably solo adventure, death.

I can see having a relationship, being close to someone, and having common interests and sharing new and exciting experiences. But like great sex, these adventures would be the product of the relationship, not the reason for it. I love Paris; who wouldn’t? I love nature. Let’s explore together when we know we actually like each other, have some chemistry, a common understanding, enjoy being with each other, and can carry a conversation. If we can have those things together, the remaining catalog of life’s adventures could be endless.

Lying and the Age Thing – Online Dating

I took the leap and signed up for the online dating services. Does that mean I am really “ready” to meet women on the Internet and go out? After a few days of this, it means I’m ready to stop looking at pictures and profiles and meet real people face to face. Or even, just meet them on Facetime and have a two-way conversation.

Lying and the Age Thing:
When I told a friend that I doubted any younger woman would want to date a fifty-five year old man, he suggested, “Lie about your age. Everybody does on those sites anyway.” Really? Well, I’m not lying, I’m just dealing with the consequences…it just doesn’t seem right to start out a potential relationship based on a falsehood. You could fudge it like a woman in one profile – She came up in a search as “40 year old”, but in her profile she said, “Actually, I’m fourty-four, but I wanted to get in the search range”, (for an age I’m NOT, she could have added.) Is that lying or not? I’m lying to the search engine you’re using, but I’m not really lying to you. Right.

Most people would lie to tell you they are younger, non? And many do. There are puh-lenty of ladies who say they are fourty, but when you look at the pictures you think, NO WAY is she fourty! In fact, I saw a “fifty year old” that I swear must be sixty-five. And if she’s not, she must have lived one helluva hard life. I mean, we are all sensitive about our age, and getting old, and looking old. But let’s just deal with it. Shit, when I see myself in the mirror, I see a guy with a full head of hair, but I know to most people I am bald. And my face—I know I have some scars and “laugh lines” that would make you think I’m Mr. Happy, but I never think of myself as having a “hard” face like James Woods, but I probably do. I have a face with character. Denial is a powerful, and sometimes wonderful thing. But when it comes to the online dating game, the truth will out sooner or later. Why fake it up front and annoy people??

But why would you claim to be OLDER? I’m talking about really attractive, even hot, young women who list their age as 35 or 40. And there is just no way. These girls are in their twenties. Have you figured it out yet? Because I think the answer is that they are gold diggers looking to hook an older man who has enough sense to say he is interested in a woman in her thirties. Look at these girls’ profiles. To me the giveaway is that they are interested in a man between fourty and sixty-five, i.e. old enough to have money, young enough to give it to a young girl. When you look at the other match requirements it’s no preference, no preference, no preference. And if they reveal their income, it’s a pittance. Their description often reads like gobbledy gook from a Russian immigrant wannabe. “I’m pretty girl, good cook, make you happy in nice big house in USA.” Jeez. This is true more of Match.com, the MySpace of dating services, than of eHarmony. And there is more dreck the lower you go down the quality of these services. It’s like porn, you see these sexy girls, but it’s fake, or if they are real, you can’t have them, unless you buy them. After awhile I feel dirty looking at the profiles and I don’t want to see them any more.

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